When a Loved One Resists Care

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On July 6, 2012, Posted by , In Home Care, By ,, , With Comments Off on When a Loved One Resists Care

At some point, you may want to care for those who’ve cared for you in the past. Everyone needs help getting through hurdles in life at some point. The difficulty when caring for an older family member, such as a parent, is that they are not children; they’re grown adults who may not totally understand what’s happening to them but may also be a little frightened, anxious and embarrassed to need their child’s help.

Resistance to help from children is quite common.   Here are a few tips and strategies should such a situation arise:

Tune Into The Environment

It’s important to maintain the familiarity and comfort levels in your loved one’s environment as much as possible. When they are out of sorts, you should step back for a few moments, asking yourself: Is there anything happening at home that may be the root of the problem? Is the thermostat too high? Are the lights too low? Is there construction or commotion? Is there tension? Sometimes it can be something very small that isn’t quite right setting them off. Tune into those small things.

Put Yourself In Their Shoes

If you were getting care, what would frustrate you? How would you respond when things weren’t the way you were used to them being? Sometimes seeing the world through their eyes will make you much more understanding and empathetic to their situation.

The Difference Between a Mountain & a Molehill

Refusing to get dressed when pajamas are more comfortable is a molehill; fighting a visit to the doctor or refusing medication is a mountain. Dealing with adults who are ill, especially those suffering with dementia, are often confused and scared. Getting angry with them makes them even more defensive. You have to choose your battles. Just realize the difference and let the little ones go.

Look At Different Ways of Approaching The Situation

When the usual way of handling things doesn’t work, try a more creative approach. Fights going to the doctor? Do something they love beforehand. Doesn’t want to eat certain types of food? Create a menu for them to choose from or ask if they want to help prepare the meal (ability-level depending, of course). Fights bath times in the morning? See if it works better in the evenings. Do what works for them, when it works for them.


Sometimes the best approach to figuring out how to deal with things is to ask questions then listen. This may not always be the best approach, especially if the person has speech/language difficulties. But if you pay close attention there is always a way to understand. Be clear, however, that with certain things (e.g., medication, nutrition, doctor’s appointments, etc.) there isn’t an option but such things can be handled in a different way if discussed.

Seek Assistance

You need a break, too, as a reminder of your life outside of being a caregiver. Most communities have respite services or nurses who will come to your house. Take advantage of these resources, even if it’s merely for a couple of hours.

Source:  http://www.myseniorcare.com/

Contact Pure Home Care Services at (586) 293-2457 today!  If you live in Shelby Township or the surrounding area, we can help you care for your loved ones.

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